Lard-asses Anonymous

Remember a couple years ago I invented Lard-asses Anonymous, the support group for lard asses who are trying to get in shape? Remember, we were supposed to meet once a week and talk about everything that was troubling us about being and trying not to be a lard ass, and then we were going to take a group walk?

I never really got it off the ground, I'm sorry to say. I contacted some of my lard-ass friends and everyone seemed into it, but then I was confounded by the bastard plantar fasciitis and couldn't go for walks and it seemed like it wouldn't work out.

I'm wondering if any lard asses out there might like to give it another whirl with me. I can't walk yet (I tried and hurt myself bad), but I can ride my bike. Maybe group bike rides?

I think making bike rides a social occasion could be just the ticket. Maybe?

If you're in, e-mail me. I've been frequenting the Manhan rail trail, but will go nearly anywhere so long as it isn't too hilly.

When you're buying a house, everyone wants to give you advice

People dressed as clowns are pouring out of miniature cars to line up at our door and give us advice about buying a house and home ownership in general.

Mostly, people are giving us good advice. But there a coupla people who clearly think I'm a moron.


Yes, we're getting the house inspected. Yes! Of course! I almost want to hire a sky writer so I don't have to say it ever again. First of all, it's practically the law. Second, every single publication aimed towards first-time home buyers contains a large-print, boldfaced section that screams, "Get a home inpsection, you moron!"


I know people give advice because they care, but - man! - it's a hard pill to swallow, the one where you realize people think you're a moron.

Speaking of our home inspection, we scheduled ours for next Friday, but the sellers are asking us to move it up and I'm not sure we can. After some research, I picked a seriously awesome inspector who I think is top notch. So do other people, it turns out, which is why he's booked up until next Friday. They gave me first available. Anyway, I hope it works out.

I started to freak out a little bit this afternoon about it, but then I went for a bike ride instead. Did I tell you my podiatrist gave me the a-okay for riding the actual bike? Well, he did. In any event, there was proper exercise and no throwing up or crying.

(Kelsey, we will never lose out-loud and in-public weeping to maturity. I mean, really. It's me!)