Know what I mean?

Back in my old blog, I wrote a cranky piece a couple years ago about how my sister hangs up the phone by saying, "Loveyoubye" and it drove (and drives) me crazy because the "I love you" part, to me, becomes a sort of wallpaper that you don't even notice. It's a part of a greeting and not a meaningful, heartfelt utterance. I'm of the notion that those are the kinds of things you save for when you really mean them, and you use them sparingly and not at every turn.

Anyway, I'm over that now and on to much more annoying patterns of speech. For example, the use of "Know what I mean?" at the end of every sentence.

Actually asking a person, "Do you know what I mean?" isn't the culprit here, but it's only not the culprit if you're actually checking in to make sure the other person understands something complex.

If you're saying, "Man, I need a snack - know what I mean?" That's when you get into hot water. It's the peppering of a normal conversation with a constant flow of "Know what I mean?" that's driving me to the demon liquor. It seems to me that people are using "Know what I mean?" as a time buyer, perhaps in place of, "Um."

For the record, I heartily endorse the use of, "Um."

The other thing that's been driving me up a fucking wall is when people say something, then say, "In other words," and then start saying it over again using slightly different phraseology.

For example, "I could really use a snack. In other words, I'm hungry."

I just want to scream, "I wasn't a moron when we started this conversation, and I didn't turn into one since we started talking! You don't have to break it down for me!"

Now here's the real problem: these things have bothered me so much, and even though they've bothered me, I've picked them up from the other more annoying people and now I'm afraid I can't stop using them.

Friends, I am the problem.